If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
By Dave Fuller
Picard:
Sigma Indri, that's the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far?
Data:
Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We'll have two days 'til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive?
Picard:
LaForge, please give us factor nine.
LaForge:
But, sir, the engines are offline!
Picard:
Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so!
Riker:
But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
The danger here is far too great!
Picard:
But surely we must not be late!
Troi:
I'm sensing anger and great ire.
Computer:
Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!
Picard:
The ship's on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?
Riker:
Not me...
Worf:
Not me!
Picard:
Computer, how long 'til we die?
Computer:
Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
Data:
May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
Extinguishers from tractor beams
And stop the fire, or so it seems...
Geordi:
Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!
Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!
Picard:
Mr. Data, thank you much.
You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.
Troi:
We still must save the Indran planet --
Data:
Which (by the way) is made of granite...
Picard:
Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand -- we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please make it so, PLEASE make it so.
Geordi:
There's sabotage among the wires
And that's what started all the fires.
Riker:
We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go!
Troi:
We must seek out the traitor spy
And lock him up and ask him why?
Worf:
Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.
Troi:
Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they've been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
We haven't even heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?
Crusher:
Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"
I can't just sit and let them die!
A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!
Picard:
Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.
Crusher:
They may be dead by Tuesday noon.
* COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK *
* HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE? *
Worf:
The saboteur is in the brig.
He's very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun --
A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
He would not budge, he would not fall,
He would not stun, no, not at all!
He changed into a stranger form
All soft and purple, round and warm.
Picard:
Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?
Worf:
I did and then I beat him fairly.
Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.
Riker:
My commendations, Klingon friend!
Our troubles now are at an end!
Crusher:
Now let's get our ship to fly
And orbit yonder Indran sky!
Picard:
LaForge, please tell me we can go---
Geordi:
Yes, sir, we can...
Picard:
Then make it so!
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