* - Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport
     hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.

   * - A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in
     the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting
     beer cans off each other's head.

   * - A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record
     showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety
     goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's
     depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five
     workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening
     room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches
     after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

   * - The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear
     weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city
     limits.

   * - A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by
     the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded
     the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.

   * - Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book
     about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to
     be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in
     seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

   * - A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days
     later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch,
     he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him
     paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he
     returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

   * - Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a
     metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
     machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
     pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't
     telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the
     suspect confessed.

   * - When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to
     hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to
     call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police
     and was arrested.

   * - A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a
     steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped
     aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.


A Nominee for the Darwin Awards:

    There are many transmission lines that crisscross Connecticut. These
are held up by Transmission Towers of various constructions. Those most
commonly installed near urban areas are called "metal Ornamental Towers"
(supposedly prettier than wood towers). Sometimes adventurous folks climb
the towers in order to enjoy the view and the night air. Most stay away
from the wires, and when they get bored, come back down.
    Apparently, a man who was forlorn after a recent spat with his
girlfriend needed some fresh air to clear his head and decided to climb a
tower. He stopped for a 6 pack to help clear his thoughts, went to a tower
south of Hartford, next to I-91, and climbed it. Public Service employees
later pieced the story together.
    The man sat there 60 feet above the highway, drank his beer and
consoled his bruised ego. After 5 beers, he needed to do what people often
need to do after 5 beers. It being such a long hike down, he unzipped and
did his business right there off the tower. Electricity is a funny thing.
One doesn't need to touch a wire in order to get shocked. Depending on
conditions, 115,000 volt lines, like those supported by the tower, could
shock a person as far away as 6 feet.
    When the man "whizzed" near the conductor (wire), the power arced to
his "stream" (urine is an excellent conductor of electricity), traveled up
to his private parts, and blew him off the tower. The guys at the power
company noted a momentary outage on this line and sent repairmen to see if
there was any damage. When they got to the scene of the accident, they
found a very dead person, his fly down, what was left of his private parts
smoking, and a single beer left on top of the tower.

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