Caught in the Act or Lack of Common Sense

1   Portsmouth, R.I.  Police charged Gregory Rosa, 25, with a string of
    vending machine robberies in January when he (1) fled from police
    inexplicably when they spotted him loitering around a vending machine
    and (2) later tried to post his $400 bail in coins.

2   Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in Lake City, Florida for
    robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel.  She was armed with only an
    electric chain saw, which was not plugged in.

3   The Ann Abort News crime column reported that a man walked into
    a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50am, flashed a gun and
    demanded cash.  The clerk turned him down because he said he
    couldn't open the cash register without a food order.  When the man
    ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
    breakfast.  The man, frustrated, walked away.

And it gets better:

4   David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after
    allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest
    four bags of money.  It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES,
    weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his
    getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.

5   The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that a man
    suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he couldn't have
    done it *because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time.*
    Police then arrested him for breaking into the school.

6   Drug-possession defendant Christopher so-and-so, on trial in March
    in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant.
    The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a
    "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun.  Nonsense,
    said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that
    day in court.  He handed it over so the judge could see it.  The
    judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so
    hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.

7   Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz gave himself five-inch-long
    welts in March when he tried to iron his polo shirt while wearing it.
    "I've ironed that way five or six times," he said, "and never had
    it happen."

8   Dave so-and-so of Anniston, Alabama, was injured recently after he
    attempted to replace a tubelike fuse in his Chevy pickup with a 22-
    caliber rifle bullet (used because it was a perfect fit).  However,
    when electricity heated the bullet, it went off and shot him in the
    knee.
    

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